Walking a Labyrinth Revealed My Destiny
On Labor Day a year ago I walked the labyrinth, tucked behind a church, nestled next to a community garden, hard to find, harder still to discover accidentally. Every time I walked this labyrinth it showed me something. On this day, I walked slowly, mindfully, feeling the breeze against my cheek, the sun on my brow. The center beckoned me, and as always, I did my little ritual — I stood at the six marked sides of the center and welcomed the wisdom the universe had to offer me. These words came:
I accept my power and the responsibility it brings while surrendering to the flow of the universe
I whispered these words, time and again, as I traced the path back out, so entranced by them, their meaning, determined to remember, to write them down when I got home. I did, because this day followed the day before, when I had picked Miracles Now cards with my friend, and every message had built to the labyrinth mantra I had just received. I created a word doc with my words and the messages from the miracle cards, added a border that felt big and important, and printed it out. Then I set it in a prominent spot on my desk to read and believe every day.
And as powerful as that all was almost one year ago, last month it grew exponentially. I was faced with a dilemma, or a conundrum… these words aren’t exactly right… I had to decide to continue on my current path, developing my business, or to accept an offer to partner in a business with a colleague. I was confused, emotional, uncertain. I ruminated, talked to friends, meditated. I sat down at my desk and read my words:
I accept my power and the responsibility it brings while surrendering to the flow of the universe.
A sudden realization: My power comes from recognizing my mission in life — to become myself — and the responsibility I have is to own this knowledge and do everything in my power to fulfill it.
I grabbed the printed sheet and a gel pen and scribbled the words down before they vaporized and floated away.
Then another realization hit: The flow of the Universe and how I surrender to it — I evaluate opportunities that cross my path and determine if they are in line with my mission to become myself — if yes I surrender to them, if not they go on the “NOT To Do” List.
More scribbling — in the margin now…
Wait, more is coming: I must evaluate opportunities at the level of my heart and the soul, not my mind.
And then: I can’t become myself, reach my destiny, unless I can create a right livelihood where my vocation and avocation can partner, and unite for my good, and the greater good.
By now I was on the back of the piece of paper, scrawling like mad.
A final thought came, like an exclamation point: sometimes it’s more important to know what the answer is NOT.
I held my head in my hands, breathing deeply as if I’d run a race. After a few minutes, when I was sure the torrent of thoughts had run its course, I sat back and re-read my notes. Scribbled at the bottom of my printed page and across the side with arrows and stars, following the long arrow over to the back, I read, and suddenly remembered I’d written on a similar theme two years before. I got up, ransacked through multiple journals, I can’t seem to write in just one at a time, and finally found what I was looking for… the journal from 2017–2018, with the back falling off and the beautiful orange, green artsy cover. I knew what I was looking for, still, it took me three times paging through before I could find it…
I don’t need to prove my capability, intelligence, worth to others, superiors, because ultimately it doesn’t give me what I need in life. I need joy, wellness, connectedness… my definition of success. Proving my worth to others does not help me become myself. Epiphany… I can’t become myself unless I find a way to combine vocation and avocation, in other words, my work — right livelihood — must connect to my purpose in life. I cannot have it any other way… not anymore!
Holy crap! I saw the answer two years ago, and I let it sit there and stew until my thoughts drew me back to it. This was me, recognizing my own fate and destiny. I don’t fit in any JOB because that is my fate, and until I accept it I will keep bumping my head up against it, it doesn’t matter how perfect the position is on paper, it will not work, because this fate is meant to re-direct me to my destiny, the creation of a right-livelihood and the intersection of vocation and avocation.
There was my answer — I could not partner with my colleague because I could not outrun my fate or abandon my destiny. So very simple. I never need to repeat this lesson, I am on the right track, creating a business that reflects the perfect union of vocation and avocation, and all my multiple selves. The picture is clear in this moment. And now it is written down, momentarily to be published.
I promise myself — I will not forget again.