Member-only story
The Tragic Gap
Between “What Is” & “What Could Be”
This week I had a dream that troubled me. No — troubled is not the right word. I woke trembling, alone, huddled beneath the covers. I felt fear in my bones. This was no dream; it was a nightmare.
A lifelong friend was getting married (though in reality, she is already married) and I was a bridesmaid. People were milling about the temple, and we were getting ready for the ceremony.
Then a commotion arose; someone declared that I couldn’t take part in the ceremony because somehow I wasn’t “right.” I’m not sure why… either I wasn’t religious enough, or I didn’t believe in the right way, or I had sinned. There was something I had done, or something I believed that made it wrong for me to be in the ceremony.
Amidst the chaos, a man’s voice rose above the fray. “As long as she repeats ‘Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Echad,’ everything will be fine. She can be with us and take part in the sacred ceremony.” But in my heart, I knew it would be wrong for me to say this because it wasn’t authentic. If I said these words, it would be a lie against God.
Everyone was watching me, waiting for me to say what I had been told to say — to do the right thing — but I couldn’t. Overwhelming pressure gripped me, but I refused to do as they wished. Doom hung heavy as I turned from the…
