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The Shifting Kaleidoscope of Trauma
Processing abuse is like peeling back layers of an onion
Day 7 — July 15, 2021 — Circles & Cycles
First
Today I was woken by a weird seizing-up in my back — like the kind you get in your calf muscle — a Charlie horse… but running up and down both sides of my back, where the lats are. I sat up and stretched one side to the other, trying to get the muscle to release, relax — no good.
I jumped out of bed, closed my bedroom door, hung onto the handle, and leaned my hips away from the door while stretching my arm up and over my head toward the door.
This is a trick I learned when I was a personal trainer — you create a “C” shape with your body from head to toe laterally, to stretch your lats and other muscles along the sides of your core.
Thank God, because after a few minutes my muscles released their death grip!
Waking up this way was in direct contradiction to the rest of this first week of my wellness project. I wonder where it fits amidst the amazing energy and joy I have experienced?
Later
An hour later I had an early morning, virtual therapy session. All of a sudden, I was crying about my lost love. It was like processing my childhood…
