Member-only story
Sexual Abuse: How Bad Does it Have to Be to Deserve Help?
Suffering is universal; could it unite us?
July 1, 2020 (from a hand-written scrap of yellow paper)
I just realized something. I have been sexually abused or assaulted or whatever the PC term is today. My ex-husband assaulted me. He lied to me for better than nine years about who he was, why he married me, and the hurtful behavior he engaged in throughout our time together. He also exposed me to HIV through his extra-marital partners, and he actually did physically assault me. I just can’t remember it. Either I was too drunk, or he drugged me, but the physical signs of rape were there.
Here’s the point. Until 10 minutes ago I never contextualized or perceived what happened that night with my ex-husband as rape or even assault. But tonight, it was as clear as day and I know why… because I went to my first domestic violence group therapy session — the 1st in my entire life. I felt like an impostor… “My ‘story’ isn’t as serious as their stories. It isn’t as traumatic. It isn’t as debilitatingly horrible as everyone else’s, it’s not as important.” (As I type this on August 26, 2020, I know what I was really feeling… I’M not as important.)
