Norilyn,

Yes, that is one sad story, but I don't think it's weird that you are single in your 40s. Now if you're afraid of being in a relationship, that's another thing entirely...

But know that you are not alone in your pain and suffering - check out my story...

https://medium.com/middle-pause/why-do-i-want-to-be-wrapped-in-his-boa-constrictor-hug-b12b473d359d